|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:25:07 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 19:25:07 GMT -5
Wanda winced slightly as he tightened his hold, gripping the railing tightly. "If you love somebody, you accept their flaws, not deny them," she answered softly. "If you loved me, you wouldn't deny that I've slept around just to feel a little."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:27:16 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 19:27:16 GMT -5
He let go of her slowly, staring at her, unaware that his eyes were filling with tears. "But I do love you," he said, "no matter what you've done or who you've been with. Just give me a chance to show you."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:30:10 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 19:30:10 GMT -5
She turned towards him, leaning back against the railing and stubbing out her cigarette. "Could you accept everything I've done or would you deny it and pretend it didn't happen?"
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:31:21 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 19:31:21 GMT -5
"I love you," he said helplessly, moving towards her again, trying to embrace her. "Just...please love me..."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:33:41 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 19:33:41 GMT -5
She avoided his arms and avoided looking at him. "I can't love anybody," she said softly. "Not my brother, not my father, not the countless men I've slept with, not my children... not you."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:37:37 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 19:37:37 GMT -5
He moved past her, leaning on the railing, one hand pressed against his face. He was crying. St. John had moved further away from them and was smoking one of Mortimer's cigarettes. He was lost in his own world, something he'd been able good at ever since he was a little kid.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:41:02 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 19:41:02 GMT -5
Wanda sighed and turned to head back into the house. I told him before. Why is he going to make me feel guilty for it? Slamming the door shut, she leaned back against it and slid down to the floor.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:46:09 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 19:46:09 GMT -5
Mortimer staggered back towards the bottle of scotch and took a long drink. He looked at St. John for a moment. "You were right," he said, "you were fucking right." St. John didn't reply.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:51:19 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 19:51:19 GMT -5
"Mommy?" she looked up to see Thomas staring at her, rubbing his eyes tiredly. For a minute, she wondered how much he'd heard as he climbed into her lap.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, carefully rubbing his back and holding him close.
He nodded slightly, curling up against her. "I had a nightmare," he said softly.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 19:57:32 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 19:57:32 GMT -5
Mortimer sat back down, still sobbing quietly and took another drink, spilling some of the scotch on his shirtfront.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:04:03 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:04:03 GMT -5
After a while, Wanda struggled to stand and pick her son up at the same time. Thomas just stuck his thumb in his mouth and rested his head on her shoulder, falling back into a lightly sleep. Rocking him slightly, she walked back into the living room and set him on the couch again, tucking both boys in with a throw blanket. Gently, she kissed each of the twins on the forehead, wondering if she was being hypocritical. She did care about her children, she just didn't know how to love them.
Rubbing her eyes slightly, she walked over to the window and looked out at the front porch.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:06:22 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:06:22 GMT -5
He looked down at the bottle. There was a little less than half left. He took another swig, this time managing not to spill it. He put the bottle down beside him and buried his face in his hands, still sobbing. St. John flicked his cigarette onto the porch and ground it out with his sneaker. He went into the house, climbing the stairs slowly.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:08:43 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:08:43 GMT -5
Wanda watched as St. John walked into the house, following him at more hurried pace.
"Wait, St. John," she said softly, grabbing his wrist. "I need to ask you not to tell anyone what you heard between me and Mortimer."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:09:50 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:09:50 GMT -5
"Sure," he said, "that loser's so smashed he probably won't remember anyway."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:11:19 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:11:19 GMT -5
Wanda sighed slightly, sinking to sit on the steps. "Damnit, I just can't do anything right, can I?" she wasn't asking him speficially, just the world in general.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:14:01 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:14:01 GMT -5
"Look, this thing with Toad isn't your fault," he said, "the man has a lot of intimacy issues. I mean, he can't even go a day without mentioning that he's a fucking orphan." He shook his head, "he's missing something upstairs."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:17:27 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:17:27 GMT -5
She sighed softly, running a hand through her hair. "God, I told him I can't love. I don't need his extra guilt because of it."
More than enough guilt because I can't love my children.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:19:59 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:19:59 GMT -5
"Just forget him," said St. John, "he's got issues, and it isn't your fault."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:21:48 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:21:48 GMT -5
Wanda leaned back against the stair railing and closed her eyes. "I guess."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:22:39 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:22:39 GMT -5
He patted her shoulder tentatively. "He'll get over it."
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:24:28 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:24:28 GMT -5
She nodded slightly and didn't say anything. He wasn't just going to get over it, she knew that much.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:25:30 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:25:30 GMT -5
He isn't going to get over it. He'll drink himself into oblivion, but he won't get over it. St. John shrugged. "Just give him time or something," he said lamely.
Mortimer took another swig of the scotch, finishing it off. He stared at the bottle for a long time, then stood up and threw it as far as he could. It hit the driveway and shattered. He sat back down, holding his head in his hands.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:29:44 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:29:44 GMT -5
Wanda nodded slightly and stood, opening her eyes. "I should probably get the twins to bed," she murmured softly, rubbing her arm as she walked towards the living room.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:30:50 GMT -5
Post by Toad on May 12, 2006 20:30:50 GMT -5
"Do you want some help?" he asked, following her into the living room.
|
|
|
Quiet
May 12, 2006 20:35:00 GMT -5
Post by Analyse on May 12, 2006 20:35:00 GMT -5
Wanda arched an eyebrow as she carefully picked Michael up, wincing slightly. "You really don't seem like a kid kind of guy..." she said softly, resting Michael on her hip and contemplating coming back down for Thomas. "Hell, I don't seem like the kid kind of girl, either. I'm not making any sense am I?" She frowned slightly. "Yes, I'd like some help, as long as you don't scar them for life or something."
|
|